Shane Dawson is back on YouTube.
The 33-year-old content creator, who left the platform last year amid beauty guru drama and controversy, posted his first video in over a year on Thursday (October 7).
Click inside to read more…
“I have a lot to say,” he declared at the top of the video, while also announcing that he and husband Ryland Adams have moved to Colorado from Los Angeles.
“I have had such an intense last year, last year and a half…I have to talk about some stuff. It’s weird. I definitely feel ashamed and embarrassed over a lot of the stuff, old clips, that started coming out when I got cancelled,” he said.
“All of that. Awful. Then it snowballed. If I talk about it how I really feel, people are going to say ‘oh you’re trying to get sympathy.’ I feel like people are going to hate me no matter what, and I kind of just have to accept it,” he continued, going on to walk through discussing his “cancellation” with his therapist.
“I went through a weird time when I wanted to leave the Internet. I felt like it ruined my life…I feel like I shouldn’t talk about this, whatever…here’s what I’ll say. I’m very disconnected from the person I was in my early 20s to a point where when I see that person, it makes me feel really sad and sick to my stomach. Some things I learned over the last year and a half, I can’t just pretend like that person didn’t exist, so I’ve really come to peace with that. I don’t want to get too much into this, but I made a lot of growth before I got cancelled,” he went on to say.
“I felt like I got to a place where I was proud of what I was making on YouTube, proud of who I was becoming…and then it felt like everything spiraled and I got cancelled, and then it felt like the end of the world…it lasted months. I think part of me was upset because I made so much growth, and now I’m being cancelled over things in the past, and that’s not me anymore…it made me realize that I can’t focus on what other people think of me…I learned a lot. I’m so happy it happened. So grateful I got cancelled, because it really changed my life.”
“I’m happy sitting in this weird, dark living room with him watching candle reviews. That makes me happy. And I want to make movies. And I want to get creative again, but those aren’t at the top of my priority list,” he said.
“I don’t want that to be the thing I’m constantly bringing up…it would be unhealthy for me to constantly think about it. I love life again. I love leaving the house…I just met a lot of really great people who said a lot of nice things.”
He went on to explain that he is interested in making horror movies in the next chapter of his life, and that he is feeling inspired again in his new home.
He recently made a cameo in a video from Jeffree Star.
Watch his video…
This post first appeared on Justjared.com
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